What Happens When You Decide ‘Normal’ Is No Longer Good Enough
A couple of weeks ago we explored how the brain habituates (has a strong tendency to repeat how it produces emotions again and again), even when those emotions drain us.
Like everyday is an emotional version of:
‘Here we go again…’
This week, I want to share the unbelievable emotional life available if you intervene to create a ‘new normal’.
One where you use habituation to your benefit!
Where your emotions default to the ones you’d choose - calm, confidence, reassurance.
The only reason I now understand this and support others is because of how I taught my brain to change; to deliver a new emotional normal.
I didn’t decide to explore neuroscience and apply this to myself in order to become an Emotional Empowerment Coach.
Back then, I would never have known what emotional empowerment means.
To begin with, I learnt about how my brain produces emotions simply because I wanted to feel better.
That was it. That was my goal.
I wanted a new emotional normal, because I’d decided my current normal was no longer good enough.
I wasn’t willing to be tolerant any more.
I wanted a new normal, one that didn’t involve consistent stress, self‑doubt, worry or the quiet bubbling of inadequacy.
I didn’t know then that this new phase, one where I wanted change, would open the door to an entirely new phase of my life.
The Moment I Realised “Self-Help” Wasn’t Enough
At the beginning, I did what most people do:
I consumed the helpful podcasts. I read the books.
I saved the quotes.
I tried to “think positively.”
For small moments, it felt helpful. But nothing changed in any deep way.
Because consuming emotional insight is not the same as transforming the way your brain produces emotions at source.
It’s like watching endless videos on how to swim… but never getting into the water.
You understand the idea but your brain doesn’t change until you start practical application yourself.
What I Didn’t Know Then…
When I first started applying neuroscience to myself, I had no idea that:
I could intervene in the way my brain produced emotions
I could retrain emotional patterns at source
I could create a new emotional normal that would run subconsciously
And that once learned, my brain would continue producing those emotions automatically
I didn’t know that worth, calm, confidence and reassurance could become my default.
But that’s exactly what happened.
That’s why when we intervene to rebuild our emotional experience it’s a short term intervention for life-long gain.
I always think very carefully about the words I use and I don’t say that lightly!
Your brain creates your emotional reality
We often believe that to ‘feel good’, we must constantly work hard to:
‘Be positive’
‘Get through’
“Do the work”
But that’s not how emotional empowerment works.
Yes, there are simple skills you can apply in minutes each day to stay regulated.
But the real transformation happens when your brain learns to produce empowering emotions automatically without effort.
That’s habituation working for you, not against you.
Your emotional habits become supportive instead of draining.
Your brain stops defaulting to stress and worry.
Your emotional normal becomes something that fuels your energy, health and potential.
That’s why I received a message last week from a client I coached years ago.
At the end of describing a day when the work challenges had simply kept coming again and again, she simply said:
“Thank you for changing my world.”
It’s not actually ME doing the ‘changing’. I provided the scaffold for her brain to transform but it was her brain that learned how to deliver advantageous emotions automatically.
Now it keeps doing that by default.
That’s the incredible impact of emotional empowerment and it’s something we all deserve.
Consider revisiting this thought this week:
‘It’s reassuring and empowering to remember that my emotions only show what’s currently normal for me, not what’s emotionally possible.’
If you’re unwilling to accept a disempowering normal any longer…
This is exactly what we explore in my free 30‑minute Discovery Call.
No pressure. No intimidating questions. Just a confidential, kind space to explore the emotional experience you seek and the steps your brain needs to create it.
You deserve emotions that empower automatically.
To book this, you can click on the link below:
We’ll find a time convenient to you.