When you feel emotionally invisible…
Having lived it myself for years previously, it’s SO easy to feel emotionally invisible.
We can not only feel emotionally invisible to others but also to ourselves.
Especially if you’re someone who cares deeply, works hard and supports others relentlessly.
This makes complete sense.
From a young age, we’re taught to perform socially and we carry this norm into our work lives.
We’re taught to focus on the external world:
Other people’s needs
Other people’s expectations
Other people’s emotions
Other people’s approval
Meanwhile, our internal emotional world can often remain out of our conscious awareness. It’s invisible.
Another reason for this natural lack of conscious awareness is that we were never given an educational opportunity to understand how our emotions are produced or how to influence this to our advantage.
So we learn to disengage from our feelings just to get through the day.
This natural disengagement (emotional avoidance), is exactly how I tried to emotionally support myself for years.
Why your brain makes you emotionally invisible…
Your brain is naturally wired to scan the external environment for threat, approval, belonging and safety.
Combine that with people‑pleasing (which is just your brain trying to protect you from potential criticism), and you end up with a brain that is hyper‑focused on others.
Back when my brain was producing constant feelings of inadequacy and inferiority, I fixated on making sure everyone was ‘happy’ with me.
‘Sorry’ really was my favourite word.
If others were ‘happy’ with me, they wouldn’t criticise me. If they didn’t criticise me, I felt somewhat protected from my feelings of inadequacy and inferiority.
It didn’t work but I was trying my best with very little empowering insight at the time.
If you recognise any similar thoughts or behaviours in yourself, please know:
Such thoughts or behaviours are normal and not reflections of your worth.
They are simply the brain doing what human brains do when they’re left on automatic.
You’re absolutely amazing and I’m on a mission to help your brain embed this truth to give you the calm and reassurance you deserve.
The empowering truth…
What’s excitingly empowering to recognise, is that only you can ever truly make your emotional experience visible.
You are the only person who will ever feel your emotions.
You are the only one who can bring them into conscious awareness.
You are the only person who can offer yourself true emotional respect, support and compassion.
It’s incredibly empowering to recognise that there’s nothing stopping you from no longer being emotionally invisible.
This is all about you seeing, considering and respecting you.
No one else even needs to know!
A practical step forward this week…
Without awareness, there’s no opportunity for impact.
To make your emotional experience visible, you need to bring it into your conscious awareness.
The good news? We’re already doing this together through these weekly articles.
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY VISIBLE TO ME.
That’s why I give up my time each week to write you the best supportive article I can.
So, here are some simple, achievable first steps to make your emotional life less invisible:
Set a gentle daily reminder on your phone this week and ask yourself one of these questions:
What words might I use to describe how I’m feeling right now?
If I wrote down how I’m feeling, what would I say to myself as my own best friend?
How could I be kind to myself about how I’m feeling right now?
What’s emotionally significant to me as I look ahead to this week?
Or try one of these thought options that encourage calm and reassurance:
From today I can start considering my emotional experience with respect and kindness.
My feelings matter and I deserve to feel emotionally considered and respected.
I am the only one who will ever feel my emotions so I can always be emotionally visible to myself.
Daily repetition of this practice is how the brain learns to change. Each repetition gently retrains your brain to recognise that you matter emotionally.
Having done this myself, you will feel so much more emotionally understood and so much less disregarded if you take time to consciously make your emotional experience visible.
I see you!
And on that note, if you’d love to feel emotionally prioritised so that you can transform how you feel for good…I’m here.
I offer free Discovery Call’s to let people know more about my coaching and what’s possible.
It’s always a win for prioritising you and your emotions, regardless of whether you choose to proceed with my coaching.
Facing the week ahead this afternoon, at the moment d’you find your brain is:
Struggling to ‘switch off’?
Generating stress?
Piling on personal pressure?
Generating an emotionally draining experience?
I’ve been there and so have all my clients.
Don’t worry - there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your brain just doesn’t yet know how to best support you emotionally.
With the right steps, it can learn to do this to wonderful effect.
Book a time that works for you here and let’s give the wonderful person you are and your emotions the visibility they deserve: